How Kim Is Your Strap?

Corporate slogans. A satirist’s dream. Usually the employees themselves that remix them best. For a mocking, yet perhaps more real, tagline.

Happily, someone feels my pain. Via the words writ large on stands at MWC16. Their commentary is spot on. Here’s a selection of Barcelona’s raw data;

Ready to Transform? We Are.

Transformation Through Innovation

Capture Awesomeness

Why Wait

Tomorrow Never Waits

Live More. Fear Less.

We Make Mobile Work

Out Think Disruption

Disrupt Yourself

Pretty damning.

I’m reminded of the meme to put sentences through the Google translate mangle. Twice. Then try and switch back to English.

With corporatese, the outcome tends to resemble the kind of propaganda mantras of which tyrannical despots and autocratic regimes are so proud. Dig For Victory. (We got there first).

I remember from my early days being instructed to place the following adornment to packing boxes on a slide; outpacing our competition so you can outpace yours. The shudder.

I feel the less seriously you take such centrally crafted credo the better. If you can tread the fine line between a verbal wink and still getting your winning ingredients across with a playful substitute of your own, you’re rather lucky.

You could even take a real Kim Jong-Un patriotic diktat (try one of the real, approved 310) and make it your own. Obviously there’s the normal “humour” deployment caveats. Long live the great victory in the war against buyer remorse!