South Park Branding Quartet

Having seldom tuned in down the years, I was nudged to view episode number 321 of South Park.

As the above opening credits screenshot shows, the Worldwide Privacy Tour riffed on plenty of meme-ables. In this particular case here, The Magical Mystery Tour of The Beatles, 1967.


To our main sales takeaway. The story features young Kyle being advised by his pal Butters that to make friends, it's all about focus on your personal brand.

I shan't repeat the name of the 'brand management' company to which they go. Suffice to say once there, a Mr Davis helps with various suggestions.

Here's his first pair.

Starting to spot any pattern?

He then proffered a third, before quickly moving on, saying this one was already assigned elsewhere.

In the end, it seems Kyle plumped for this quartet; reliable, fun-loving, punctual, victim.

Later, we learn of two more personal brands they'd helped craft.

Prince of Canada; millionaire, royal prince, world traveller, victim
Princess of Canada; sorority girl, actress, influencer, victim

So a quartet of traits, then. Perhaps the less said about the omnipresent final one, the better. Yet when creating such for ourselves in the selling sphere, especially the personality of our product, to have several alternatives where the last one is always the same - the one you really want to, ahem, hammer home - then choosing an overall, always-on style of point seems like a runner.

As with these abstracts, they can get word salady. Easily become a parody of themselves. Their true power lost in a fog of triviality.

Yet it can, say, serve as a useful 8-minuter in an internal sales meeting. Ask those in attendance to think of their quartet. Then talk through. Pull out themes, see any mismatches between intent and belief, and discuss deployment options.

Imagine turning these around. What four things are your prospects looking for in a supplier, solution or approach?

You might not want to make this a formal element, but to get potential buyers thinking about them may well put you out at the front too.


As an aside, the walls of said brand managers featured these four 'motivational' posters.

Hustle Execution Grind
Grow through what you go through
You only fail when you stop trying
Above & Beyond

If they're good enough for a supplier to the Prince & Princess of Canada, are they good enough for you?