To the sound of the Roxy Music tune, this post is about “relationship educator”, Harry Benson.
Driving ’round Blighty the other day, I heard him on the most negative and debilitating force in the UK; BBC Radio Five. That’s what working in America does to you. May I apologise.
He’d coined a method that kept couples in their relationship. It’s especially applicable to new parents, letting them recognise four types of conflict. It uses the acrostic ‘stop‘;
Scoring points (aroused conflict, folded arms)
Thinking the worst (paranoia when given a gift)
Opting out (closing down as a sign of disengagement)
Put downs (feeling clever by making the other person look stupid)
The guy behind it reckons these are just as relevant in the workplace.
His Let’s stick together site has more.
What I liked about it, was how key ‘relationships’ can go awry in selling. And these four styles of argument abound when they do.
If we can recognise these, and know how to get around them, our biggest customer or team’s heaviest hitter will remain firmly onside.
All it takes is to offer something in return for action and keep them engaged. Apparently.