It’s silly season in the English media. The rapacious buzzfeedification of which leads to articles like 14 jokes only intellectuals really understand.
Ever happy to jockey a news trend for salesjacking, here’s three you can use in the field to get a selling point across.
A. Ever need to get across how different numbers can mean different things to different people?
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says:
“Five beers, please”.
B. When someone is making the criminal error of looking at averages, or any kind of smoothed data;
Three statisticians go hunting.
They see a deer and the first one shoots, hitting three feet left of the deer.
The second one shoots, hitting three feet right of the deer.
The third one leaps up in joy, yelling, “we got him!”
C. And a thought to sow when someone asks for something unavailable, unnecessary or a never-coming competitor non-offering:
Jean-Paul Sartre is sitting at a French cafe, revising his draft of Being and Nothingness.
He says to the waitress:
“I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.”
The waitress replies:
“I’m sorry, Monsieur, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”