So an unsolicited email breached my inbox defences this week. From a San Francisco seller at a startup “made in Sweden”.
I appear neither in their target market nor have any use for their services.
I was initially disturbed to find the subject line screamed; Get It Done!
The inappropriateness of this should be readily obvious.
Like you’re supposed to think, ‘oh yes, get what done?’
It also unsurprisingly led me to think it was from one of those time management junkies.
Anyway, it wasn’t. Here’s their first three lines:
End of week, and maybe you still have some lingering to-dos left on your desk right now?
If any of the these things relates to your [ridiculously broad business operation buzzwords] we can help you get it done.
We just launched [brandname of their] new online [type of task] platform, that makes it super easy to [do some specific-ish stuff] quick and easy.
Me neither. I was looking for their edge in what I knew to be a well-established and already full niche.
Then followed four numbered bullets that had no punch at all. They evoked merely features. Such as “offering a comprehensive toolbox for managing…” something or other fairly vague and lacking in desirable business impact.
Then before the call to arms (visit their website) there was the ‘compelling’ business case; that people who generally do this kind of thing “in average save 50% on their … costs“.
Perhaps of all the faults – overall vagueness, subject line, business impact, call to arms – the one most misplaced was having four ‘benefit points’.
Just pick one.
I know marketeers can whinge that you must trot out all the goodness for prospects to gorge on. And that salespeople sometimes feel that if the first overture is dismissed then subsequent ones won’t be even considered. But both these are misguided.
Re-presenting is fine. And it works. You can go back with different questions. But the key is that they must be different.
Know all the wonders you unleash. Select a single one.
Craft your entry pitch on that and that alone.