Failings of hardwork & effort

Yes, yes, I know this is jokespam, but what the hell.  One of my muppet pals sent me this, despite my telling him not to include me in such nonsense emails.  It reminded me that fairly regularly customers of mine (all sales people) send me right dodgy stuff.  It’s as if ‘appropriate terms of internet use’ policies never existed.  After the twin towers fell, one important VP forwarded me on a picture of Bush & Bin Laden doing a bit more than merely kissing to make up, and plenty more memorable images were provided by a NYC customer of mine to describe why Tiger Wood’s game had gone off the boil, courtesy of his wife…  anyway, for those of you interested:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass-kissing that will put you over the top.

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