I have a friend. Not a friend of a friend.
And no, they haven’t spent time in the Emergency Room mysteriously impaled onto a vacuum cleaner.
This friend recently suffered a messy split.
They duly popped onto a well-known dating site.
A “chat” invite ensued.
Excited to talk back, they coughed up the cash to do so.
What a shock when the supposed admirer turned out to be fake.
Money down the drain. Hopes slain.
The perils of modern love.
The part of the tale that caught my Sales ear though, occurred at ‘first contact’.
The pic above is of the “hot tips” given by the site at chat-time;
1. Send a message to start a conversation
2. Tell them something interesting about yourself
3. Ask them something about themselves
I couldn’t help think how totally the opposite of “hot” these “tips” were.
Not only in this personal ‘attraction’ scenario (for an adult chuckle seek out “tinderlines“), but also in its close family member from the selling world, attracting a prospect.
Firstly, applaud the intent; “to start a conversation”.
The biggest single reason why you don’t create a prospect when speaking to them that first time is because a true conversation never takes place.
You are so ridiculously unlikely to manage this if you merely “tell them something interesting about yourself”.
The old-school command to deliver what you do before a lighted match you hold burns your fingers just does not cut it.
Nor does then suggesting a couple of time slots in their diary to meet up constitute :ask them something about themselves”.
As I’ve blogged many times before, my number one initial approach builds upon the findings of Ari Galper.
What genuine problem do you resolve?
For your kick-off, frame that in a question enquiring whether they’re thinking of, intending to tackle, wondering how to approach, wrestling with or in any way contemplating in how they themselves can look at what you solve.
As for the first message in the cyber dating world, well … I’ll leave that one with you.