Remotely Funny?

I told a joke on a Zoom meeting but nobody laughed.
It turns out I’m not remotely funny.

*groan*

That, if you did't suss, is a Dad Joke.

Cited - by researchers into a cringe-ingly mass 32,500 of them - as one of the Top 3 zingers of the genre.

Apparently the 'hits', perhaps unbeknown to the world's teens, feature nature, healthcare and money. Use at your peril the 'miss' topics of celebrities, politics or religion.

So video calling holds decidedly ripe pickings, hey.

I've heard a fair few down the years. Most involve internal meeting frustration and contribution avoidance.

Here's a common one from five years back;

Video calls are just modern séances. You stare at a bunch of faces in boxes, half of them frozen, wondering which one is going to speak next.

More latterly;

I’ve perfected the art of looking interested while actually planning my dinner. My nodding game is Olympic level.

Why do we even bother with cameras? Half the people are just a floating forehead and a ceiling fan anyway.

Angles for horror/mirth also include multitasking distraction, a complete loss of prospect interest and competitors secretly on the call.

But there are a happy few that nail the Sales on-screen comeuppance.

Why are bad video sales calls like magic tricks?
Because everyone disappears right before you get to the “close”!

With a pair from the dozens dished up when I asked AI to conjure some general gags.

Nothing kills a sales demo faster than saying “Let me share my screen” and accidentally showing your “How to Close Deals” browser tab with the notes still open.

Nothing screams “high-value prospect” like them joining a sales call from their car, in a car wash, while eating a fast food takeout.

And as we know to our cost, humour often offers the greatest insight to what's really going on...