All-New Taxi For Chief Gubbey

0619hrs. BBC’s flagship breakfast radio news show, Today. Wednesday 22 March 2017. A Business segment.

Chris Gubbey was introduced as chief exec of the London Taxi Company. Makers of the capital’s “iconic” black cab.

He clearly had some news to share. The correspondent began with a simple, “…what you gonna be making at the factory…?”

The 24-second response in all its glory;

“We’re going to be making an all-new London taxi. But one thing you have to recognise here, this is all-new. There is not a single carry-over component. This is an aluminium framed vehicle, totally aluminium body, extended electric range vehicle for the future, that’s going to deliver low emissions quality and a good business prospect for the operator.”

If I were eating cornflakes they would have been soon splattering the nearest wall.

It is sadly in the style of just about every single ceo that gets wheeled into such situations. Under media glaze or meets with potential customer.

There is so much to take from this single-breathed uttering for the pitcher of new products.

You know you will be required to articulate what exactly is the wonder you’re launching.

Likewise, you’ll be granted precious little time to impress. Twenty-four seconds seems almost generous by current standards.

“All-New”. Sounds like he’s talking about cereal. Or a kiddies’ tv show. Super-new. I was grateful that at least he never used the product name (TX5).

Off the cuff, here’s my suggestion. I resisted the urge for mischievous Uber-baiting, acknowledge that roads outside the metropolis feature such, and save on turnaround backstory detail. So using also the result headings from a google news search, here’s a three sentence option for Chris next time on what genuinely seems to be a good news story;

We’re making an all-new taxi to help London cabbies be the best in the world.

Way lower running costs from its aluminium body with low emissions and extended electric range.

We hope the 1,000 brand new factory jobs produce a cab that makes Londoners proud.

Taxi for Mister Gubbey indeed. Don’t get caught in the back of his.

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