And ad for the latest home coffee machine system. No Hollywood a-listers for this launch. No. Instead, a ‘typical’ cold-caller. Hardly what you’d expect to expose the cutting edge of poor sales-ship.

Yet it ably shows what cold callers are up against.

The comedy value of being sales-ist is clear.

Get the cold-caller to deliberately sound as different from the suspect as possible.

Make sure they never pause for breath during a never ending monologue pitch.

Deploy closed questions and assumptive continuances only.

Chuckle at the change of the ABC mantra of always-be-closing to always-be-confusing.

A colleague (or boss) in the background encouraging ever more outlandish chat and close techniques.

Pretend you’re real busy, even when the diary is empty.

Indeed, if this is the perception the world over of cold callers then it’s no wonder salespeople approach the demands of lead generation with such fear and trepidation.

…and here’s the winning ‘script’, as used by the cold caller at the company who’s strapline is ‘specialists in hot air’;

hello, this is ‘insoolate’ loft insulation

do you have a moment?

do you have an un-insulated loft or ceiling cavity?

do you know there could be an upstairs neighbour or roosting bird benefiting from your escaped warmth?

we can process your order for you right now…

You sure your cold call chat is not like this…?!

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