Your Selling Name

More an internal moment of levity, this. Yet I couldn't let the continued terrorism of infrastructure disrupting, precious artwork soup smothering, and road blocking of a hysterically unhinged self-appointed elite go by.

They've long since stopped being 'activists'. Now they are a deranged, criminal cult. Hated, yes truly, by the vast majority of their compatriots. Many of whom sympathise with their cause, yet absolutely not with their method of protest.

One in particular, at time of blogging, five-time arrested 27yo 'Just Stop Oil' ringleader Indigo Rumbelow, garners much press coverage. Such as exposing her as a globe-trotting hypocrite. Many also satirically point out her bourgeois name is emblematic of the movement's reckless, privileged, illiberal membership.

For those unaware, Rumbelows was an old British high street brown and white good retail chain. It went out of business in 1995.

You likely know that indigo is a shade of deep blue.

Which allows for much rolling news merriment by asking listeners and viewers for their own eco-terrorist name.

Take your favourite obscure-ish colour as your first-name. Then any company once prominent in your world but no longer exists as your surname.

One programme I caught had the hosts offer up Fushia Dolcis (shoes) and Cerulean Enron (Ponzi energy scheme). Another; Apricot Athena, Primrose Presto, Cyan Safeway, Flax Finefare, Bronze Bejam, Taupe Timothywhite, Lavender Wimpy. That's a lot of fancy coloured defunct retailers.

This trope reminds me of similar treatments for a minute or two of fun with friends.

Including this trio, at least a pair of which may well be NSFW.

Your, ahem, adult film star name. As derived from your first ever pet's name followed by your mother's maiden name.

Then your Grand National horse race name. One variant of which being your, ahem again, fantasy 'cuddle' place followed by favourite tipple. Step forward, no doubt, a legion of Mile-High Jameson's. In either case, alternatives swap in other memories from your youth, such as first road name you lived in or first car driven.

And your regally aristocratic title. Start with either Lord or Lady. Then (popular, this source hey) your first pet name. Third, the last thing you ate. Pop in the connector 'of'. Finishing with the last place you shopped. Royal privilege surely awaits.

Beyond the cartoon, it made me wonder whether you could create a touch of shared salesteam camaraderie by adapting this.

People seldom get to choose their own nickname. Many secretly loathe having to put up with an 'o' or 'y' lazily suffixed to their last-name's first symbol.

Yet for a day at least, we can buck that.

The key perhaps, is in selecting the right parameters. Here's my suggestions for starters.

Pick a word that sums up your ideal prospect.

It could represent where they wish to go that you can uniquely help propel, a symbol of the problem which must be manifest for us to fit, or what they wish to be/are renowned for.

Then take something from the past. Successful selling remembered. Maybe the name of the first ever person you signed up. Or their company. Or element of their job title.

If early career posts remain a source of pride, you could even use the name of a particular hero product or service.

You can slightly amend any word so it neater gels.

Having said all this, I'm not too sure first-pass ones of mine are any good (!) but here's a trio anyway;

Distinctive Mackay, Hybrid Wolfie, Innovative Protea.

For the sake of eight minutes during your next sales meeting, you might just unearth a worthwhile gem among your colleagues.

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